Howard Tosse’s story of healing

Howard Toose’s experience of Healing with the Casa de Dom Inácio de Loyola at Abadiania

This talk given with permission by John of God at Abadiania on 23.6.2011.

Howard began by asking everyone to hold hands to say The Lord’s Prayer

“I will warn you I tend to get very emotional when telling my story. Up until I came here to the Casa, tears would not come easily – but since I have come here and received a very strong connection with St. Ignatius, when he is around I feel a strong emotion of love and compassion. I am not a public speaker I just say it as it is, so if you leave because of boredom, I won’t be upset.

Howard Toose at Casa Dom Ignatio

Howard Toose at Casa Dom Ignácio

Today I feel I need to go right back to the beginning. I was working in a Supervisor position with a large communication company in Australia and we were preparing for cable TV. I had a lot of responsibility with crews working on various jobs. Where my accident happened there were cables being laid underground with huge copper cables running everywhere on the main route to Brisbane, the Gold Coast, Sydney and Melbourne.

I was in the office and received a call from one of my very efficient crews, working in the Southport – Surfer’s Paradise area which is an extremely busy built up area linking Melbourne to Brisbane. They were looking for a pipe that was coming across the street into a large chamber – you may have seen man holes covered by lids in the street, this one had six lids.

Where they join the complicated cable system they said the cable crossing the street was not there. Every job that goes out I check the plans and I found that very unusual. So I said, “Leave it to me and I will come and have a look, just leave a barrier around the hole.”

As I have said, I was in the office and was able to get away about 3.30pm in the afternoon. I climbed down into the huge chamber – It was about 6 and a half feet deep where the main lids are and then they drop down to about 5 and a half feet, just as you go away from the lids and then there are concrete tunnels to conduits that come out into the end-bell.

I looked in the main area, it had been disturbed but there was nothing at all. Its got to be here, I thought and as I started to get deeper into the huge chamber I pulled some big cables away and found it … and just at that time a big spider found my arm. As that spider found my arm – my reflex was to jump straight up. I was wearing a safety helmet – but as I jumped up I hit the concrete ceiling with my head, because there was not that much room.

I came up with such force I heard a lot of cracking and noises going on in my neck region. I knew I was in trouble, then with the aggravation of that spinal injury, it caused an abnormal growth in my nervous system canal and it slowly strangled my nervous system. There was no room for my nervous system to go through.

I have had four operations, and one of those was to open up the nervous system canal, but as the doctors’ say the damage done to the nervous system will not repair itself. You have to live with that.

After the operations the pain level was the same. To explain the pain level, for me, I knew what pain was, I played football – raced motorbikes, I did all the silly things and I have been smashed up pretty badly at times. I already had a few screws and plates inside my body. The pain from a previous spinal injury was absolutely nothing — in comparison to this nervous system injury.

The only way I can describe it is a 10 out of 10 pain level – the pain level was worse – up to four times worse – and it is with you all the time. Even though the canal had been opened with operations, the pain was all the way down from the head all the time. I had to lay down all the time – the house was silent all the time (I realise now) because I couldn’t handle any noise. I couldn’t handle light. I just laid in my bed or on a recliner out in the family room.

Once a week I had to get up and be taken to the doctor for government approval for the painkillers (they were narcotics) I was prescribed. When you talk to medical people these painkillers are really heavy stuff. On a bad day, I may as well have been taking Smarties or Minties (confectionery); there was no relief from the pain at all.

So living with that pain was very confronting and perpetually present for me; I realise now how hard it was for my family also. At the end of the first twelve months the pain specialist said to my wife, “You are very lucky to have him, with the pain level he has suffered only two percent of patients survive.”

I can relate to that – it was hard to keep going – suffering a pain at that level 24 hours a day was horrific. It gets that bad you go for 3 or 4 days with out any sleep whatever, then your body just shuts down – it has had enough – you are closed down for a couple of days – then the cycle starts up again.

I was at the stage, 9½ years after the accident, where I was crippled and a hunched up little old man. By the time a decision was made for me to come to the Casa, the major organs in my body were closing down.

Before that in early 2002, a chance meeting took place between my wife, my sister-in-law and a lady who was about to travel to Abadiania. She was on her way to the Casa and said to my wife, “I want to take him with me.” My wife said, “No way, he is flat out getting to the doctor each week; He would never make it.” So then the lady asked if she could take my photo over there. My wife, and sister-in-law Noreen said they would ask me. So when they told me of the lady going to John of God in Brazil and how he was a spiritual healer and that she would like to take my photo, I said, “Well it can’t hurt, I don’t have to do anything.” And that was when my photograph came over here.

While the photograph was at the Casa in Brazil, to me, in Australia, it felt like I was having a spiritual cleansing. It was a really hard time. It was nightmarish, but it was preparing me. Then the more I was coming to the White Light in Abadainia – the more I felt I was being dragged away by a force. It is something not to dwell on, but if anyone has that experience – the closer you get to the white light – the other forces pulling against you will give up. Soon after that exeperience I felt I was totally in the White Light and I never needed to have any more concerns after that.

Some time ago while I was still in Australia, I had a vision and saw a beautiful smiling and compassionate face. A face I didn’t know. But it was so clear and it stayed with me; I felt that one day I would meet this person or come to know who it was.

My sister-in-law and my wife felt they wanted to find out more about John of God. In those days there wasn’t that much information about him and what was happening at the Casa. They were planning to come over to the Casa, to see what was going on here, and to see if I could be helped at all. I said, “I must go too, I feel very strongly that I should.”

I didn’t know at the time, but my friends and relatives were so much against me coming. They thought they would never see me again because I was so ill.

The trip was planned, we made it to Auckland where we spent 2 nights there, which prepared me for the next leg to Santiago, Chile. We spent four nights there and I knew I was in a lot of trouble – I knew I was critically ill, and I knew I had to get out of Chile. We left Chile, and arrived at Sao Paulo, Brazil. I was lying flat out on the floor at the airport there in a bad way. We made it to Brazilia, the capital of Brazil; I was still in a bad way. We decided to stay at a hotel in Brazilia before taking the last leg of the journey, the taxi ride for a 1½ hour drive to Abadiania.

Next morning at the hotel, I was so ill, Margaret my wife called for a doctor, the doctor came immediately, called an ambulance and set up a mini intensive care in the hotel room. On my way to the hospital I died.

I had an out-of-body experience – I remember being up over the ambulance and seeing the paramedics working on me. I have no idea how long I was dead for. I am told it was up to 15 minutes. I have no recall from when we left the hotel to when we arrived at the hospital – I was having a nice soft ride above the ambulance not feeling a thing.

Looking down, spirit came all around me; we conferred. They said you can come but it is not your time yet, you have a lot of work to do, but it is your decision. If anyone has been in that situation it is so much easier to go to the ‘other side.’ I chose to stay.

If anyone has seen the Clint Eastwood movie Hereafter there has been a lot of research done with people that have been to the ‘other side’ and come back. The Light comes all around you.

So I was in the hospital in the intensive care ward. My wife was with me and was told there was an outside chance that I would make it through the day. I was very lucky to even get to the hospital.

By that night I was back in the hotel room. (This was a miracle)

That day was virtually the start of a new life for me.

After a couple of days recuperating we proceeded to Abadiania. My wife and her sister had their photos sent on also and those had been marked with a cross by John-of-God in entity which means they needed a spiritual operation. So when we were all in the Assembly Hall up where all the wheel chair people are – the ‘operation’ line was called and so they left, that left me with no one to push my wheelchair. I had never had to use a wheelchair before and so when I was called to the queue, I was struggling to operate the thing. I struggled through the rooms, past all the mediums sitting in deep mediation holding The Light at ground level. When I came closer to John of God I thought, “Wow, this is the vision I had before,” at the time my photograph first came over.

I was thinking, ‘This is going to be amazing; I’m going to come face to face with him and he is going to give me that beautiful smiling face. I can’t wait’. Then it was my turn. I was still struggling to operate the wheelchair; nobody came to push me. As I got close to him the wheelchair took on the force of one of those Bi-lo shopping trolleys and I nearly ran over his toes and had to pull his feet out of the way. The vision wasn’t there. It was the complete opposite to the vision. The look on his face was like, “Get him out of here.” I thought O.K. I’ve missed out on the lovely vision.

I was sent to the ‘Blessing Room,’ and then everytime I came near him again, I was sent out to the ‘Blessing Room.’ I thought, I can wear this, if I am not meant to have spiritual surgery so be it. At least I am here.

Then finally, the time came when he sent me for an ‘Operation.’ When I was sitting in the operation room, again surrounded by mediums in deep meditation holding the Light, we are asked to put our right hand over our heart. A beautiful voice floats through the room saying, “In God’s name may everybody in this room be healed.”

I felt two big waves of energy float down through the top of the head, with a shaking feeling and then into the eyes with another strong shaking feeling. Then I could feel ‘spirit fingers’ manipulating my spine. After a while I felt I was in a whirly wind. There were no fans in the room but I could feel the brushing sensation. I returned to my room at the guest house where I was staying and was laid out on my bed for a couple of days. I felt I had been anaesthetized (like you do after being in hospital) and needed to rest.

Then on the day we were to leave, I walked up to John-of-God in entity, and was greeted with that beautiful smiling compassionate face and he said, “Don’t worry we are working upon you.”

I knew I was going to get better. By the time I arrived back in Sydney I sat up for 2½ hours talking about what had happened at the Casa at Brazil. I had never been able to do that from the time of my injury in the telephone cable pit.

The healing is ongoing – the energy has stayed with me all the time. After that first trip the pain level began to ease. Which the medical profession said would never happen. My neck was locked solid and as I said, I was a crippled up little old man. What hair I had was snow-white and very little left. Our son’s friend said “You have grown about 4 inches!” He had only ever known me to be crippled and in agony. I could stand straight again.

Earlier, when I had been so ill, I couldn’t talk with people for more than a few minutes as I would be exhausted with the pain. I had two friends (one a theatre nurse who only came to visit once); they confessed their visit was so depressing and they were just waiting to receive a phone call that I had passed away.

After I returned to Australia, I went back to my doctor and walked into his office, and I am standing straight. I told him I want to halve the morphine tablets straight away. He exclaimed, “You can’t do that … you have been on those tablets for 9½ years!” I replied, “If I feel it is not right, I will take an extra one or I will come back and see you.”

He halved that prescription straight away. Over a period of time we have continued to lower the dosage. I did tell my doctor I was going to Brazil to a spiritual healer. He is young and he does have an open mind. Since then he has asked for more information; he has read books and watched the DVD’s and he has told me he wants to accompany me on one trip.

So my health continues to improve all the time. As events unfolded, I have been able to return to John of God. John of God recently made two visits to New Zealand, and we took the opportunity to visit him. And I have discovered that ‘operations’ still happen at the Casa in Brazil whether he is there or not.

In 2006 in Abadiania I was sitting in meditation where ‘current’ is held in the Casa of John of God. I offered myself to serve to help others. I talk to a lot of groups here at Abadiania and in Australia.

When I recently met Howard at Abadiania he had just received another ‘operation. ‘ John of God-in-entity had said to him, “I will heal you.”

Howard Toose has a Crystal Bed. He can be contacted on his mobile 0408 289 351 or (07) 552 46025 Email: marg.howard.toose@gmail.com

Howard is a Medium to John of God and a son of The Casa De Dom Inacio

He has many more stories to tell.

Howard Tosse at Casa Dom Ignatio

Howard Toose at Casa Dom Ignácio